Harassment
& Stalking
Stalking is repeated contact that makes you feel afraid or harassed.
Generally, harassment is a behavior that persists over time. Serious one-time incidents can also sometimes be considered harassment. Stalking is one of the most common forms of harassment today.
What is Stalking
Examples of stalking may include:
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Following you around or spying on you
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Sending you unwanted emails or letters
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Calling you often
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Showing up uninvited at your house, school, or work
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Leaving you unwanted gifts
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Damaging your home, car, or other property
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Threatening you, your family, or pets with violence
Types of Stalkers
Simple Obsessional:
The majority of these stalkers have been in some form of relationship with the victim. The contact may have been minimal, such as a blind date, but more commonly is a prolonged dating relationship, common-law union or marriage. The perpetrator refuses to recognize that the relationship with the other person is over and the prevailing attitude is “if I can't have her (or him) then no one else will.” A campaign of harassment, intimidation and psychological terror is mounted. The motivation for the harassment and stalking varies from revenge to the false belief that they can convince or coerce the victim back into the relationship.
Erotomanic:
Is convinced that the object of his or her attention, usually of the opposite sex, fervently loves him or her and would return the affection if it were not for some external influence. The person about whom this conviction is held is usually of a higher status than the stalker but is often not a celebrity. It could be the supervisor at work, their child's pediatrician, their church minister or the police officer who stopped them for a traffic violation but did not charge them. Sometimes it can be a complete stranger.
Love Obsessional:
The stalker can be obsessed with his or her “love” without possessing the belief that the victim loves him or her. Very often the love obsessional stalker suffers from a major psychiatric illness such as schizophrenia or mania and wants to “win over” the love of his or her victim.
Facts about Stalking
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More than 1 in 10 women (15 years of age and over) were victims of Stalking in Canada.
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Obscene phone calls is the most frequently reported form of stalking for female victims.
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Most stalking victims know their stalker.
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Over one third of stalking victims reported stalking to police.
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1 in 10 stalking victims sought out a protective order against the stalker - of which almost one half were violated.
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Female victims stalked by a former intimate partner experienced physical violence relative to victims pursued by a stranger or acquaintance.
Cyberstalking
Communication
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Keep an open line of communication
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Don't be afraid to ask directly. If you seem comfortable discussing your concerns about the person's well-being, he or she may be more likely to discuss his or her experiences with you. "Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself" may open the conversation lines for the person.
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Ask how you can help the person. None of us are mind-readers, so asking the person how you may be of help to them is the best way to know what they need from you during this hard time for them.
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Let them know that you’re there to listen and that you aren’t going anywhere
Seeking Help
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If they have said mental health may be a factor, talk to them about speaking with their doctor or health care practitioner
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Offer to go with the person while they seek help. He or she may be more likely to follow through with asking for help or getting it if you are there as built-in support.
If you are the victim of stalking or harassment know that you are not alone. Your privacy and protection are of the utmost importance. Together we can take the steps to a better tomorrow.