Sexual Assault
Sexual assault is any physical contact without your permission or consent
Sexual Assault is defined as an assault of a sexual nature that violates the sexual integrity of the victim. The Supreme Court of Canada held that the act of sexual assault does not depend solely on contact with any specific part of the human anatomy but rather the act of a sexual nature that violates the sexual integrity of the victim. This can include unwanted sexual comments or advances
What is Sexual Assault
Sexual assault is any physical contact without your permission or consent. There is no consent if you were unconscious or asleep, or if the person was in a position of authority. Sexual assault of any kind is a crime, even in a marriage or dating relationship.
Sexual assault can happen to anyone. People of all racial, religious, or ethnic backgrounds, of any age or gender, including the elderly and disabled, are assaulted. The assailant may be a partner, family member, a date, a stranger, coworker, or acquaintance.
You have the right to say no, regardless of who you talk to, where you go, what you drink, or what you wear. Even if you have previously agreed to sex, you still have the right to say no. Abusers are responsible for their own behaviour. Their actions are not your fault.
Facts About Sexual Assault
-
Sexual assault is a violent crime that is rooted in power and control.
-
Personal control and self-determination are striped away.
-
Sexual violence is a systemic problem
-
Sexual Violence is not an unfortunate occurrence involving individual survivors.
-
It includes all unwanted sexual activity,
-
selling or attempting to sell someone for sex.
-
Rape is about power and control, not sex.
-
There are no grey areas it’s never okay.
-
Clothes are not a risk factor. What someone is wearing is never an indication of anything other than their fashion choice.
-
Uninvited touching and/or comments are never acceptable.
-
Comments directed against a person’s sexuality can be a form of sexual harassment and violence and can have a negative impact on self-esteem and well-being. This is against the law.
-
Just because someone buys you dinner or a drink, doesn't mean you owe them sex.
Consent
When it comes to sexual assault, consent is defined as the voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. In other words, you must actively and willingly give consent to sexual activity. Any type of sexual activity without consent is sexual assault.
-
Consent should never be assumed or implied.
-
Consent is not silence or the absence of “no”.
-
Consent cannot be given if you are impaired by alcohol or drugs, or unconscious.
-
Consent can never be obtained through threats or coercion.
-
Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
-
Consent cannot be given if the perpetrator abuses a position of trust, power or authority.
-
Consent cannot be given by anyone other than the person participating in the sexual activity (e.g. your parent, brother or sister, girlfriend or boyfriend, spouse, friend etc., cannot consent for you or on your behalf).
Disruption of Daily Activities
During the first few days or weeks after the assault you may feel preoccupied with intrusive thoughts about the assault. You may experience difficulty concentrating, nightmares, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, ‘startle reactions,’ phobias, general anxiety or depression. You may have memories of a prior crisis.
What You Can Do: Although these are common reactions, they can be quite disturbing. Take things very slowly. Some people find it helpful to keep a notebook in hand to write down feelings, thoughts, ideas, or details of the assault; keeping the thoughts and feelings in one place may make them feel more manageable.
Life after sexual assaualt
Survivors of sexual assault experience a wide range of reactions. Survivors can often experience a wide varying range of emotions and in some cases significant mood swings from one extreme to another. It is important for you to know that what you are feeling and thinking right now is okay. Your reactions are your own way of coping with the crime that has been committed against you.
Fear
Fear that the assailant may return; fear for your general physical safety; fear of being alone; fear of other people or situations that may remind you of the assault.
What You Can Do: If you want company, do not hesitate to ask people who you trust to be with you day and night. You may want to make your physical environment feel more safe (moving, making your home more secure, and/or getting to know your neighbours better).
Anger
Feeling angry at the assailant. You may find yourself thinking about retaliation. You may be angry at the world since you no longer feel safe. If you are religious, you may feel angry that your faith did not prevent this.
What You Can Do: Be accepting of your anger. Thoughts of being violent toward the assailant do not mean that you are a violent or bad person. You have the right to feel angry about the violation you have experienced. You may want to talk to people who understand this.
Isolation
​
Feeling that this experience has set you apart from other people; feeling that other people can tell you have been sexually assaulted just by looking at you; not wanting to burden other people with your experience.
​
What You Can Do: Recovering from an assault can be a very lonely experience. However, you are not alone in what you are feeling. You may find it reassuring to talk to others who have been assaulted or to an advocate at SAPAC who has worked with other sexual assault survivors.
​
Sexual Fears
Feelings that you do not want to have sexual relations; wondering whether you will ever want or enjoy sexual relationships again fears that being sexually intimate may remind you of the assault.
What You Can Do: Try to tell your partner what your limits are. Let your partner know if the situation reminds you of the assault and may bring up painful memories. Let your partner know that it is the situation, not him/her, that is bringing up the painful memories. You may feel more comfortable with gentle physical affection. Let your partner know what level of intimacy feels comfortable for you.
​
Loss of Control
Feeling like your whole life has been turned upside down and that you will never have control of your life again. Your thoughts and feelings seem out of control.
What You Can Do: Try to get as much control over your life as you possibly can, even over small things. Ask for information that may help you sort out your thoughts and feelings. Use outside resources, such as counsellors and legal professionals. Ask how other people have handled similar situations. Try to make as many of your own decisions as possible. This may gradually help you regain a sense of control over your own life.
​
Shock & Numbness
Feelings of confusion, being easily overwhelmed, not knowing how to feel or what to do, feeling “spacey” or “out of it.” You may react in a way that is similar to your reactions during other crises in your life (for example with tears, irritability, nervous laughter, withdrawing).
What You Can Do: Be aware that these are normal reactions to trauma. Each person handles crisis differently, so think of things that helped you get through crises in the past. Get help to sort out what you would like to do and how you may want to organize your time, thoughts, and decisions. Be compassionate toward yourself; give yourself time to heal.
​
Guilt & Self-Blame
Feeling like you could have or should have done something to avoid or prevent the assault; doubts regarding your ability to make judgements.
What You Can Do: No matter what the situation was, you did not ask to be hurt or violated. Blaming yourself is sometimes another way to feel control over the situation, thinking that if you avoid similar circumstances, it will not happen to you again.
​
Vulnerability & Distrust
Feeling that you are at the mercy of your own emotions or the actions of others; not knowing who to trust or how to trust yourself; feelings of suspicion and caution.
What You Can Do: Trust your instincts in regards to who you want to talk with about what happened to you. Try to talk with people whom you have found to be the most dependable in the past; select those who have been good listeners and non-judgemental. Feelings of general suspicion may subside as you begin to find people you can trust.
​
Child Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse is any sexual activity done to a child by a person in a position of trust or authority, ie; Exposing genitals, genital fondling, inviting sexual touching, showing a child pornography, masturbating in front of a child, oral sex and sexual intercourse. A person in a position of trust or authority could be any family member, coach, teacher, babysitter or family friend.
Children under the age of 18 cannot legally consent to sexual activity if the other person is in a position of trust or authority. Young people under the age of 14 cannot consent to sexual activity except in certain situations with their peers. Children under the age of 12 are never considered able to consent to sexual activity.
What to do
In Canada there is no statute of limitations for sexual offences. Help is Available.
-
Report to police, they will investigate and decide whether to lay charges
-
You can have a Sexual Assault Evidence Kits completed at a Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Treatment Centre (within some hospitals) with or without reporting to police. Evidence (hair, fiber, fluids) can be frozen up to 6 months while you decide if you want police involvement. This should be complete as soon as possible after being assaulted. You should not shower, eat, drink, or change your clothes before going to the hospital (doing this could be evidence lost)
-
Contact Victim Services
-
Contact your provincial Sexual Assault Help Line
​
Contact your local Victim Services to ensure the best possible support and information about your local services.
​